The Second Step

My husband is from a small town and me, well..I’m not.  I’ve lived in a small town, two actually, but not for very long.  Believe me it is so different when you have lived in a small town your whole life.  In small towns everyone knows everyone as well as every-one’s business.  Which I’m not so convinced is a bad thing.  You have a lot of friends that you have had for a very long time and you know all of their family. 

I grew up with Target, The Galleria, and the Theatre.  Very different stuff. 

When Ryan and I go visit his friends and family back home it’s always a huge learning experience for me.  It was hard for me at first not to be judgemental, not in a bad way, but everyone and everything is so different.  I mean the language is different.  They talk about fishing, bottle feeding their heffers, and grass fires.  They have accents, that sometimes I can’t even understand.  But one thing is for sure, they are not out to impress anyone. 

Recently we met up with an old running buddy of Ryan’s, and he and his wife took us “riding around.”  This is probably one of the biggest hurdles I have had to overcome.  Because all you do is ride around.  It’s not that I’m too good for this experience, it’s just simply something I never did.  Where I was from you got in your car to go to the next destination period.

However, I have noticed something that I love about small towns.  I love the fact that folks (you like that?) just stop by.  Now THAT is something you certainly do not see in the suburbs.  We live our lives here, it seems, inside our fences.  What happened to that mentality of just visiting for the sake of visiting.  Why do I feel the need to ask to see my friends?  I know that we are all busy, but seriously I would love it if my friends felt comfortable enough to just stop by my house…because they were in the neighborhood.

On the flip side of that, if say someone did just come by, I don’t want to greet them with, “Sorry my house is a mess.”  That too is something that is peculiar to me.  Seriously, are houses supposed to be clean ALL the time?  If that is the case, I am doing this stay at home thing all wrong. 

So if any of you out there ever just want to just stop on by.  I have a pot of coffee always ready.  My house, guaranteed, will not be tidy.  But, you are welcome anytime.

I love this night. I can’t wait for it every stinkin month!

A few months ago some friends and I decided to start a very intentional girls night out. We have only met a hand full of times, but I can tell it is going to be something we do FOREVER! Our group consist of marrieds, singles, mommies, and no mommies, but it all just comes back to one thing…we are girls. I love it.

I love that I feel very appreciated and cared about. I love the laughter…and the wine. There is no sarcasm, no one ups, no judgement. Just lots of good, caring conversations. And wine! I don’t ever leave my girls feeling lonely, misunderstood, or “wow, I hope she didn’t take that the wrong way.” I leave feeling refreshed, loved on and validated. There is this strong sense of, “I know exactly how you feel.” It’s comradery at its best.

I’m not looking at my watch. I don’t notice anyone around. I’m just laughing, talking and …drinking wine.

My husband and I recently went to LA for a little quick get-a-way. In our short stay we were able to see a lot. The crazies on Venice beach, the big houses in Beverly Hills, the palm trees, the Hollywood Walk of Fame and we even got to watch a movie being filmed. It was so much fun. As a theatre major I was very intrigued. Very!

As my husband was getting a tattoo, I met up with an old buddy from College. He had been in LA for eleven years and he knew a lot of fun places to take me. My husband was getting a lot of ink, so we had a lot of time. It was Sweet! He knew everyone! He knew someone that worked at Paramount, so he and I just drove on in and walked around. Again, the actor inside of me wanted to run on the set and say, “I’ll do whatever you want me to do!” I was itching to show this town my talent. Everywhere we drove there were “Star Wagons”, folks standing outside some building talking to themselves (auditions). Models holding their portfolio off to a “Go See”. This was the business.

Now, this is what I noticed, no telling what else was going around this extremely eccentric city. But this was show business.

As my friend and I were talking, he asked me why I never came here to “try it out”. His voice was so careful, afraid that maybe he was going to upset me. This was my dream after all, to come out to LA and “make it”. So, had I lost my dream, did I settle? Was I now a stay at home mom that watched earnestly the Academy Awards wishing that were me? The answer, was no.

To be honest I figured out that I just didn’t have what it takes. At least that’s what I told him. But, I just simply fell in love with my life. I absolutely love what I do! Really. It was really hard to convince him of that, he kept saying, “But it was your dream…you never even tried it.”

I didn’t have to try it.

It was neat sitting in that bar in the middle of the day looking out at the Hollywood sign and just thinking….Thanks for my life!

I have to say, that I have the best, best friend. There is nothing better than having a best friend. Not just someone to talk to, or laugh with or someone who is in your wedding, but someone that loves you in such a way that it hurts. A real authentic love that goes so deep, that it can never, ever go away. I have that. And I know that it is rare. I often see the token saying, “A friend is someone that knows everything about you but loves you anyway”. Although, I believe that to be true, my best friends loves me right. She loves me real. She loves me hard. She knows the right questions to ask me. She doesn’t settle for mediocrity in our relationship.

I met her in college and she often jokes that she invited me into her apartment and I never left. It’s true. She was what I needed. I read once that women are always in a constant state of judgment about themselves. So, we need real love, we need affirmation. She not only gave me that, she taught me that.

We have always had an uncanny way of just laughing. Sometimes, we would stay up all night and just laugh. We can go into a dollar store and laugh until our bellies hurt. Anyone who can make you laugh all the time is special, because just face it…sometimes we just don’t feel like laughing. My best friend has a way of knowing the truth about me even when I don’t. She sees to my soul. She is not afraid to confront me on hard issues, she loves me. To know that no matter what, I can not escape her affection for me is overwhelming. She always tells me, always shows me, she is always there. I once received a card from her. After reading the beautiful words about being a friend she writes, “You are my most perfect accomplishment in life. I sought out for a friend, and I found a treasure! I love you, I aspire to be like you, I need you in my life! Thank you for allowing me in your world! Robie.”
I told you…she is the best, best.