Regrets
“Make it a rule of life never to regret and never to look back. Regret is an appalling waste of energy; you can’t build on it; it’s only for wallowing in.” KATHERINE MANSFIELD
“Fear not for the future, weep not for the past.” PERCY BYSSHE SHELLEY
“Let’s not burden our remembrance with a heaviness that’s gone.” WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE
I’ve always been amazed at the celebrities that would come on television and say that they had no regrets. I’ve always thought that maybe that was what they were supposed to say. I thought it was a bit arrogant. I would always hear the ever, “I am who I am today because of what happen to me.” I’ve come to realize that celebrities are not the only ones that say that. A lot of folks believe that way.
I can not say that.
Do I regret that second peace of cake last night? Yes
The rude comment to my husband? Yes
Snapping at my four year old? Yes
Cheating my way through high school? Yes
The abortion I had when I was 19. Yes
Not listening to my parents about certain things? Yes
Not reading my bible more? Of course!
Even though those things have indeed made me the unique person I am today…what would my life be like if those things did not happen? Can I say that I would be happier? I can’t. Could there have been less pain and suffering? Possibly. I find it a very arrogant way to look at life and say that you have no regrets. I love talking to a person that is humble enough to admit that they messed up, that they weren’t just sorry…but regretful.
I don’t cry everyday over these things. I hardly ever think about them. But I regret them. They don’t bring me down I don’t live my life in the past. I have my regrets. I move on. I live my life the best way I can.
But, when my four year old looks at me when he is a teenager and asks, “So Mom, do you ever regret….?” How can I possibly tell him no? If I told him no, what is that saying to him?
I don’t want to go through my life with a mask on trying to pretend. I want to learn from my mistaskes and try to be a better me. I think that having some things in life that I regret make me so ever grateful for the present…and the future!
Katharine Hepburn says it best in my opinion…
“I have many regrets, and I’m sure everyone does. The stupid things you do, you regret? if you have any sense, and if you don’t regret them, maybe you’re stupid.”
What a brave post. Gave me goosebumps. I’m not afraid to admit I have a few regrets…
Great seeing you last week, by the way! Hope you had a great time in Austin!
Comment by Nicole — June 4, 2008 @ 10:00 am
Amen sister! Anytime someone hints at perfectionism in their past I just gag! There’s no shame in having regrets. We’re humans and screw up. I mean, how could I look back and say - yeah, starting to do drugs in 6th grade and continuing through my freshman year in college - yeah, I don’t regret that. Great times. Made me who I am - what??? I missed out on memorable family events, true friendship, figuring out who I really was, not to mention, my health.
Thanks for being honest! Refreshing…
Comment by Cynthia — June 4, 2008 @ 4:01 pm
So my take is a bit different. Without taking up a full blog post in the comments I think that we are mixing “no regrets” and “admitting mistakes”. I’ve made plenty of mistakes in my life but I don;t regret many of them. There are things I’ve done that would make drug addict puke… but I can;t say that I regret them. Those things are what made me who I am today and have given me insight to the horrors that the world has to offer.
To say that I’m arrogant for not having regrets is just not right. I admit my mistakes and know that I’m far from perfect. However.. I wouldn’t change a thing.
When asked about his tattoo’s of his past and if, now being a pastor, does he regret them… he simply replied.. “No. These are the scars of my past and I wear them for everyone to see that I’m not perfect.” I feel the same way.
Comment by Ryan — June 9, 2008 @ 1:56 pm
Great post. I do believe our “regretful” actions are character shaping as they are brought into the Light. That being said, I trust that they are being used to bring about a greater good. Do I wish I had never done those things? Yes. I hurt people immensely along the way. How can you hurt people and not feel some sort of “regret” about that? I am excited about the life-change I’ve experienced. However, the thought that runs through my head is - Where would I be had I not done those things? I know I lost some years. Years. Not a couple minutes, but years of life based on poor decisions. I would be 5 years or more further along in ministry were it not for those wasted years. I regret that. But I put my hope in One who “restores the wasted years.” Thanks again for the post.
Comment by Tim Barosh — June 10, 2008 @ 9:12 pm
Great topic! I don’t think I would say that I am regretful but rather thankful. Thankful that these shameful actions were the very things that God has turned around and used for His glory (Romans 8:28). These are the things that I will be able to share with my children. How lost, broken, and pitiful I was without Christ. Yet, by his grace He saved me. He saved me from my destructive self and given me a life of hope and joy! The work of Christ in each of us, now that’s something to boast about! =)
Comment by popsciles on the porch — June 10, 2008 @ 9:20 pm